The Variety Show

Well, already, you know this cannot be good. A Variety Show. For the past three years, I’ve avoided attending this branch activity (oh, but they keep doing it). This year, they asked me to host.

Because I’m not stupid, I said no. NO!

And then, my branch activity co-chair played a hand so devious I didn’t even see it coming. “Yeah, I thought you’d say no. Because you think you are shy. Which is why I was actually hoping you’d be on our panel of judges, making fun American Idol style comments.”

I hadn’t planned on a warm-up question. And what was I supposed to say then? That I’d rather die than watch people in our branch make complete fools of themselves in a variety show? I’d already used that line - about 5 seconds ago.

So I went to the Variety Show. Picture the worst talent show ever, and you have an idea. Monologues, dance routines, product jingles, and an air guitar contest were the highlights. I was horrified to attend, let alone be passed a microphone every five minutes and come up with to say something about the last absurdity I'd witnessed. So imagine my surprise when I found out MORE THAN ONE person invited work colleagues to attend. On purpose.

They say it was the talk of their offices all week. I can only imagine.