Upon looking up the word esquire, it turns out that you are not supposed to use it in the first person, nor are you to use it when addressing someone else directly. Letterhead, envelopes, and fancy party invites. And for my inquiring sister: it comes from England and was the next step above a gentleman, below a knight. Then we Yanks stoled it for the lawyers.
Did I mention I passed the bar? I’m going to be sworn in as an attorney? Member of the bar? Counsel?
While I’m pretending to look for a real lawyer job, I continue to work at my fake job with Tod getting criminals back on the streets. We are, I must report, shockingly good at what we do. However, to all you who may at some point be hauled into a police station for interrogation, please, do avoid confessing. Especially avoid statements like, “I did it, I did it. It was me, I did it. Oh, man, I can tell you I did it.”
And now, by special request, here are 8 Random Things About Me:
1) Dinner tonight: popcorn and coke. Mmm.
2) I wash my feet every night before I go to bed.
3) I still misspell the word “judgment” every 3 out of 4 times I type it.
4) I play guitar almost every day.
5) I will probably never have to serve on a jury, now that I can list that I am a criminal defense attorney.
6) When the bar results were supposed to come out around midnight, I went to sleep and just checked them in the morning.
7) I want to own a mini-goat. And rabbits. Obviously rabbits.
8) If you want to know if it will rain or not, just see if I bring an umbrella. And whatever I do, the opposite will happen. Guaranteed.
And finally, here are two new paintings of mine, sure to go down in history as some of the finest artwork ever produced:
Mama, Mama, look what I builded
Ah, to sleep the sleep of a lallenock
2 comments:
Whilst I laughed my butt off at the paragraph about your job and not confessing to a crime blah blah blah... I have to say "please get a job where you work for the good guys" - I will sleep better at night (ok, I won't but that's because I have a 3 week old).
Criminals are stupid, right?
You are turning into an uber renaissance woman what with the law degree combined with being an artist. Congrats on passing the bar, I'll be sure to call you next time I go postal.
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